it's a content reboot so it doesn't technically/visually suck, sounds are getting rebooted as well. It's also rebooting so it can look different while maintaining original function since product confusion is something I want to avoid... but i'll promise there will be no zombie trees and no uncanny weapon replacements like lightning cobras, glocks and uzis that fire nails and a knife that can do "ax-murder" (should be easy staying away from doom/quake stuff too - i'm going to even avoid depictions of skeletons, skulls, pentagrams, baphomets, random wall jesuses, etc.)
early models but they drive the point home


This isn't a joke. The anime style april fools joke was already done in 2007. I learned the hard way it should've been done for real.
My target minimal PC requirements aren't a joke either:
AMD K6-III 550MHz....... or Intel Pentium II 233MHz
4MB video card (even vaguer - i'll try to support NOT OpenGL compliant hardware and implement even more (pointless?) legacy fallbacks - in addition, preparing the content for crap hardware also prepares it for a potential software renderer)
Windows 98 + KernelEx or Windows 2000 (due to PSAPI.DLL and home path dependency)