[Editor's note: This story is based on the map HWHELL2 by Matt. Pick it up here if it sounds like it kicks ass (it does. Trust me.)]
It was a call like any other... late in the night. But something was wrong. Something was wrong with his voice.
"Just come. We need you. For the UNION. For... Pele. He's coming. Pele is coming."
He hung up. He was still there. Once I offered to help him, but he turned me back.
"This is a Plumber's battle. We need no one." That was the last I'd seen of him. Then he went... there... I thought the war was long over. I thought the battle was done. How could they still be fighting after all this time? And his voice... It wasn't right. Bad things have happened.
But a friend is a friend. I called the boys. We we going back. Back to HELL.
I was with the Teamsters union. We had work to do first. Someone digging in the wrong endzone had to be... dealt with. Yeah. Special branch of the Teamsters. VERY special. But all the time we spent on our assignment, that voice was in my head. Something was wrong. Something was wrong with HellFace. By the time we got there, the Electricians and Military guys had already been in there for a week. I came in expecting nothing left to do. I was wrong. It was dark. dirty. It was Hell. Dell walked up to me. I smiled. He didn't. He looked frazzled. Worse than I'd ever seen him before.
"Hey, Dell. What's wrong?"
"Pele is coming."
"Uh... What?"
"They're coming. The enemy. The Archeologists."
That wasn't what he said the first time. That was wrong. But it was a fight. The Plumbers and Archeologists had been fighting all this time over who got to dig up an active volcano. Who fights for the right to die? It didn't make sense. None of this made sense. Then a call came from outside... inside... it's all inside here.
"THEY'RE COMING! IT'S A HEAVY WEAPONS!" I smiled. No problem. The Heavy Weapons Guys haven't been a problem sense the last upgrade. I turned to Dell. I was gonna ask which one of us gets to smoke him. But Dell was backing away.
"Oh, god..."
"Dell. It's a Heavy Weapons Guy. Just bounce him around with your rockets. No problem."
"It doesn't work here. Oh, god..."
"What? What are you talking about?"
"This isn't just any Hell. This is their hell. They aren't the same as you remember."
Then the door burst down, and someone stepped in... He wasn't the old style. He was one of the new ones... but he was the biggest Heavy WEapons guy I'd ever seen. He opened up. Dell instinctively fired at his feet. The Guy bounced in the air. ONCE! He fired again! The guy bounced! TWICE! Then two more times! THREE FOUR!
And the Hwguy came down. Alive. Smiling.
Dell died that day. I ran. I was the deadliest thing alive at distance, but in a small room...
He followed. I didn't know the area. I was alone. Trapped. I can't die now! Pele is coming. I pulled up my rifle and fired. It hurt him. It knocked him back. Then he smiled again and raised his Assault Cannon. It began the wind up.
Then there was an explosion of blood. The Heavy Weapons Guy's upper body fell to the ground. His face was still smiling. His lower body stood for a moment more before crumpling to the ground. I suddenly got religion.
"Jesus Christ."
He had been sawed in half where he stood. I looked up from the body. HellFace stood there. Assault Cannon still smoking from the blast. Then he spoke.
"Pele is coming."
"Whatever you say."
"He's coming."
"Yeah."
I stood. And I looked into his eyes. Now I knew what was wrong. I knew what was wrong the whole time. He was insane. They were all insane. They've been driven mad by something down here. I need to leave.
"I... can't stay, HellFace. I have to go."
"You must stay. He's coming."
He's coming. Pele is coming.
"Yes. He's coming"
Who said that? Me. I did. Why am I saying that?
"I gotta go."
"No."
He's right. I can't go. Pele is coming.
"What am I here for? The Heavy Weapons guys here are so powerful..."
"Support. Help us defeat the Archeologists."
"But how did you get so strong? This is hell."
"This isn't any Hell. THIS IS MY HELL."
"Your..."
"Sacrifice, Matt. It's the one, true way to a noble death."
"I understand."
"You WILL die here."
"Yes. I will die here."
I should leave. But Pele is coming. He's coming, and it will be glorious. Pele is coming. Pele is coming. Pele is coming. Coming to Hell. This Hell.
HEAVY WEAPONS HELL.
It will be glorious.