How did the Demoman lose one eye?
| Answer | Votes | Percentage | |
| MIRV hit and run incident | 38 | 7.4% |  |
| Nail in eye by pesky scout | 47 | 9.2% | |
| A BIG newbie mistake | 88 | 17.2% | |
| Child abuse. | 20 | 3.9% | |
| Birth Defect | 11 | 2.1% | |
| Got in a fight with knife wielding spy. | 33 | 6.4% | |
| Crossed his eyes so much as a child, the medic had to take it out so he wouldn't go blind. | 16 | 3.1% | |
| Fashion statement (Three dimensional vision is SO 1996!) | 34 | 6.6% | |
| A big ole long stick... I can just hear his Mom yelling: "You'll poke your eye out with that thing dear!" | 41 | 8% | |
| Lost it in the war... Little Jimmy: "What war?" Demoman: "Shutup before I blow up your dog with my detpack." | 182 | 35.6% | |
Zorak: What if he respawns and has both eyes?
Spaceman Spif: He refused to stop doing what his mother said "would make him go blind"
Slick: I poked him with a stick.
When school rolls around, are you allowed to play computer games such as TFC?
| Answer | Votes | Percentage | |
| Yes | 206 | 40.1% | |
| No, parents won't let me | 17 | 3.3% | |
| No, we don't have &*%#& internet at the college I go to | 8 | 1.5% | |
| My College has OC3, you expect me not to play? | 44 | 8.5% | |
| I make the rules in this house, haha | 84 | 16.3% | |
| No School for me anymore, doo da, doo da | 82 | 15.9% | |
| School? | 72 | 14% | |
Zorak: Be chr00l to your sch00l.
Spaceman Spif: Heh, school?
Slick: My High School is paying me to go to college, aww yeah!
How many poll pages are there at PlanetFortress?
| Answer | Votes | Percentage | |
| 1, just this one | 93 | 18.2% | |
| 2, the other one is there somewhere | 38 | 7.4% | |
| 3, 3 is the magic number, School House Rock said so. | 83 | 16.2% | |
| Infinite | 152 | 29.8% | |
| What are polls? I'm lost and don't know what I'm doing here! Get me out! | 144 | 28.2% | |
Zorak: Hmmm, depends if you count the Zorak fanclub.
Spaceman Spif: Umm... lots of polls running. You just have to find them ;)
Slick: The world may never know..
What class do you change to as a spy?
| Answer | Votes | Percentage | |
| Engineer | 113 | 21.9% | |
| medic | 48 | 9.3% | |
| pyro | 15 | 2.9% | |
| sniper | 54 | 10.5% | |
| Soldier | 88 | 17.1% | |
| HWGuy | 8 | 1.5% | |
| Scout | 8 | 1.5% | |
| Demoman | 55 | 10.7% | |
| I can change classes as a spy?! | 27 | 5.2% | |
| I don't change classes the only reason I use spy is to get high on gas. weeeeeeeeeeeeee! | 45 | 8.7% | |
| I never play spy for some reason I don't have the urge to stab people in the back. | 53 | 10.3% | |
Zorak: DOORMAT! Also known as feigning.
Spaceman Spif: Medic! you have to love feining as someone who can potentially "heal" you.
Slick: All of em.. I like to change it up..
What Class has the best weapons?
| Answer | Votes | Percentage | |
| Scout: Gotta love that nailgun and caltrops! | 4 | 0.7% | |
| Sniper: Uh, I'm called a sniper because I have a sniper rifle! | 52 | 10.1% | |
| Soldier: I LOOOOVE my rocket launcher! | 52 | 10.1% | |
| HWguy: Auto Cannon, nuff said. | 47 | 9.1% | |
| Pyro: Burn baby burn! -- If my weapons were better :) | 15 | 2.9% | |
| Demoman: If I get pissed off, I can spam the enemy base! wheeeee! | 65 | 12.6% | |
| Detpack! wheeee! | 13 | 2.5% | |
| Engineer: EMP! | 53 | 10.3% | |
| Sentry Gun: Even though I can't move, I have the best weapons! | 44 | 8.5% | |
| Medic: Why cure Cancer when you can cause it? | 40 | 7.8% | |
| Spy: And thou shall be stabbed in the back! | 31 | 6% | |
| the PREZ! My unbrella rules damnit! | 96 | 18.7% | |
Zorak: Mary Poppins had an umbrella, and so does the prez. Point proven.
Spaceman Spif: Being a pyro and watching your victims flee ina ball off flames always makes me smile.
Slick: Sentry Gun
You have almost got the enemy flag to your cap point after a high paced, closely contested match when your Mom/Wife/Significant Other walks into the computer room and starts talking to you. Do you
| Answer | Votes | Percentage | |
| Close the program and give them the loving attention that they deserve. (If you pick this you are truly sick!) | 7 | 1.3% | |
| Continue playing and try to talk and cap at the same time figuring you can blame them if you get fragged. | 193 | 37.6% | |
| Continue playing and ignore them completely which is what they deserve! | 57 | 11.1% | |
| Pull out your HWGUY gatling cannon and turn them into giblets and THEN continue playing. (Don't try this at home!) | 28 | 5.4% | |
| Press the button which activates the cone of silence which will descend over you and your computer completely cutting you off from the outside world. | 56 | 10.9% | |
| They KNOW not to talk to me when I'm playing TFC! | 84 | 16.3% | |
| I have a mother/wife/significant other? | 88 | 17.1% | |
Zorak: My chair bugs me all the time. "Zoooooorak... Zoooooorak..." Never mind.
Spaceman Spif: Just a simple grunt tells the wife what the deall is. Yes, she knows me THAT well.
Slick: I am a bubble boy, there is no other option.
Daffy Duck or Tweety?
| Answer | Votes | Percentage | |
| Daffy! | 160 | 31.6% | |
| Tweety! | 57 | 11.2% | |
| Austin Powers! | 288 | 57% | |
Zorak: Daffy! Daffy! -- I'm a r3t4rd t00! W00p!
Slick: Zorak tried to impersonate me on these comments (2 times now). But he's just got to learn what a moron he is, and how he can't edit my poll comments sine I run the polls..
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